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02:18am 11/06/2003
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(brain fart alley)

06:09pm 02/04/2003
  fuck yeah.  

(1 gaseous expulsion | brain fart alley)

11:20pm 15/09/2002
  new LJ name...


if you like me, add me.

if you don't, i won't be posting in kupachabra anymore

(brain fart alley)

04:19pm 15/09/2002
  <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=570&ncid=753&e=2&u=/nm/20020913/sc_nm/science_penis_dc>World's Oldest Penis</a>  

(brain fart alley)

< >   
10:43am 15/09/2002
mood: cranky
Two things annoying me right now:

1) Girls that measure their happiness by if they're with a guy or not. You don't need a damn relationship to be a happy, productive person! Grow up, and realize this. There is nothing spectacular about a guy. They can urinate standing up...that's about it.

2) Donald Trump's hair. My god man. You're worth a billion dollars, yet your cheap comb-over is horrible. In the wind it looks like an emergency escape hatch. I think you have three options here.
i) Shave it all off and grow a goatee. It's what most men do when they think they're balding, and it seems to work.
ii) Go somewhere besides Bo-Ric's. I mean, I know a penny saved is a penny earned, but you look like a god-damned jackass.
iii) Toupee...enough said...

(1 gaseous expulsion | brain fart alley)

09:56pm 14/09/2002

i am extremely intelligent and very wise. i think logically and rhetorically in order to get problems solved. if i'm not mad now, i'm getting very close.

how mad are you?

this quiz was made by piksy

(brain fart alley)

08:14pm 14/09/2002
mood: confused/satisfied
Yeah, me and Jenni had sex...
The reason I'm saying this is that afterwards, we were lying there, and she started humming "Hail to the Chief".
I swear to god.
I'm not sure, is that a good thing, or a bad thing?
Just a question...

(6 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

< >   
11:29pm 12/09/2002
mood: tired

I scored 8 out of 10.

Bay window or wrap around porch?

(brain fart alley)

< >   
08:46pm 11/09/2002
  Created a community


College is a lie...

(brain fart alley)

< >   
06:57pm 11/09/2002
mood: angry
Things bothering me at the moment:

1) People that put x's in their screen names. Honestly, I mean, if that name is taken, be original and think up something new. Altering your screen name by putting an x at the beginning or the end only makes you look like an asshole.

2) Anonymous posting is ridiculous. Really, I mean, come on. This is the in-ter-net. Nobody really knows or cares who you are anyway, so at least leave a reference as to who exactly the asshole is making the rude, and quite often off subject remarks.

3) "Hot" girls. You know them. The ones with their over-priced shoddily made clothing, with enough attitude and self-absorption to fill the lecture hall that they're in. They talk half the fucking class, and then sleep the rest. So how about they save some oxygen and just kill themselves? All they're going to end up doing is taking my tax money in the long run.

4) Pro-active people. I can say from the bottom of my heart, that I don't give a shit that you're a gay/black/soandso person. So stay out of my face, and stop trying to shove your message down my throat. Yes, I do believe in equality, tolerance, and understanding. We are equals, I tolerate you (to an extent) and I understand that you are possibly the most annoying person to ever be in my presence. Leave me the fuck alone.

5) That fat guy down my hall. Yeah, the hairy one, fourty years old, that walks to the bathroom in his underwear, at any time of the day, thoroughly ruining any chance that I might have of making a baby that day. Old + Fat + Hairy All over = stay in your fucking room.

6) Me. What is my fucking deal? All I do is sit around and bitch about this, and vent about that. Like any of you people reading this actually care about anything I'm saying. Why don't I just get a life.


(brain fart alley)

01:18pm 11/09/2002
mood: recumbent
I'll steal...you stars...

(brain fart alley)

09:36am 11/09/2002
  Everybody looking for a hosting site for pics, just send me the pic that you want me to post, and i'll send you back the img src tag so you can post it in a LJ entry or as your LJ background.  

(1 gaseous expulsion | brain fart alley)

My little LJconfessional   
10:58pm 10/09/2002
  I wish my LJ was popular like Dennis Klein's.  

(6 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

Like I was telling Jenni...   
10:18am 10/09/2002
  If I was a woman, I'd definately have money for college. I would make sure I was sexually harassed by one of my profs, then I would sue the uni for loads of cash, thus paying for my education.

How seductive would you have to be to turn on a 63 year old flaccid old man?

Not hard.

Geez, I mean, I'm 18 and it's not that hard.

You girls should try it. Don't feel dirty. Just go with the flow, and try to remember the positive aspects of being sexually harassed.

1) Reassurance: It's a way of saying hey, you really are attractive, and people do notice.

2) Income: In this day and age, where frivolous lawsuits generate millions of dollars for trailer trash plaintiffs, an upstanding citizen like yourself with a legitimate case should make loads of money, especially from a large institution.

3) Grades: If money isn't your thing, maybe your GPA is. Just think how many extra credit points swallowing your professor's pearly concoction is worth. Do I smell an A, or is that just your balls?

4) Prestige: Everybody will be jealous that you're the professor's little slut. Guys will want you, and girls will want to be like you.

So, squeeze into those hoochie shorts, and put on an extra layer of lipstick ladies!!! You've got some money to make!!!

(7 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

07:20am 10/09/2002
mood: tired
My brain doesn't function properly this early...

They expect me to learn a new programming language?


I'm going to learn how to use a mousepad and keyboard as a pillow.

(5 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

07:52pm 09/09/2002
mood: bored
Feel like jerking off?
Dispense your lubrication of choice from this twenty dollar easy-to-squirt porcelain ejaculator. With a jaunty expression and a pair of eyes that never close, this character just wants to keep you company during your lonely, private moments. Lotion melts in your hand, not all over the keyboard.

Above...Aborted M&M fetuses.

(brain fart alley)

oh my god...   
09:20am 09/09/2002
  i'm "learning" what double-click means...

i'm paying for this?

(6 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

11:26pm 08/09/2002
mood: contemplative
Livejournal makes me feel dirty. Here I am, just reading through some anonymous person's deeply personal thoughts and feelings, all in public view on the internet.
I mean god, I really don't think I should know about their love life, family problems, etc.

Has the internet led to the downfall of us all?

I mean, all you have to do to get a girl naked is put a webcam in front of her. Every girl online says she bisexual now. It's like god, anonymity has abolished any inhibitions society seemed to have held before.

Honestly, it's pretty scary to think of how much further humanity can go.

What is the point of all of this?

(2 gaseous expulsions | brain fart alley)

12:58am 08/09/2002
  Thinking of playing my guitar actually made me upset today.
I have no interest in picking it up anymore.
It's feels like all the emotion, time, and effort I put into the instrument over the years has been an energy wasted on the pursuit of dreams that I cannot attain. I just wanted to right music that I liked, and that others would love. No matter how hard I try it just never seemed to happen. The harder I didn't try, the worse it turned out. Anytime I sit down at my guitar, I feel absolutely no inspiration to write. Before when I felt like this, I would go over scales and keep my dexterity and speed up...but now, I feel like that would be a waste of my time, so I do nothing as an alternative.

I knew it was all over when I'd rather watch American Idol than play guitar...

A sad day for music, a sad day for me...


(1 gaseous expulsion | brain fart alley)

< >   
12:51am 08/09/2002
  To be in college...
And not to party...
To know only one person...
And nobody else...
To have only one friend...
And them have only you...
[t i r e d]

(brain fart alley)